Walking down Memorie Lane

Sitting with my legs crossed "Indian" style I look up to the sky to see my mind just floating on memories. Floating on memories of him and I walking hand in hand through the mall. Him and I dancing at prom. He told me I was beautiful, I felt beautiful. Driving in the car listening to "our" song. Spending a weekend at the hotel. Taking pictures. Ahh the memories. Sneaking around late at night because we knew we were doing things we shouldn't have done. Man the memories...

You. I remember when back in the day being in love was like something nobody was ready for and through the years I have come to find that you are such a great friend. How could a crush grow into such a strong relationship. We never kissed or ever even did "it". We were just so into the thought of each other that that was enough. No matter what I would go though you would pop back into my life at the right time. All because I would be getting screwed over by the other guy, then the next guy and the guy after that. You should have been the first and only guy but man... We were so young and naive. I always think about how jealous I was when I found out you finally had a girl friend, whom you have been with for a while now. And I can't help to think, how come I have to go through all of these trials of love when a lot of people have found their one. Maybe you could have been my one... I value our friendship because there is always room for fantasy. We get to dream about the what ifs and could have beens. And now thanks to technology we can instantly see pictures of each other and flirt just like always. Always wondered what it would have been like if we would have actually pursued a relationship... There is always slumber land.

You. After meeting you at a college bound program over the summer, I have had not so much long term luck with guys. This was what 4 years ago? I never thought we'd go from flirting with each other to hopelessly in love with no sense of direction. You and I have had some hell of a 4 years huh? Like from the first year when you saved me from "him". Or when we went to the park and just talked. Oh remember when we ran into your dad? That was hilarious. Oh and I missed you so much when you left for Tennessee. Lane College... The best and worst thing that happened to us. To this very day I cant tell you the moment when I just was like "I love you". I sorta just grew into it. Through the friend ship and the fighting and the distance. You are a friend that I can't get rid of. Sometimes I wonder how come I let you get away with things that you have done, and there is just something about you. Maybe it's because we have grown up together in a sense. What ever it is, you are one filled with wisdom for when I need it. And it helps that you dream just as much as I do. A house in New Mexico.... So I wont have to work.... Sweet dreams. Even sweeter memories. Memories of telling each other "I hate you" which after two years finally turned into "I love yous." The only fault we have is, were we ever boy friend girl friend. I can't remember ever saying that you were. We have just had a special bond like that huh? Does it even matter because I freakin LOVE IT!!!

You. A crush I have had since the age of 12! Yes even back then I felt the same way I feel now. But the thing that killed me then was you never paid me any attention until I was 15 or 16, when I would go to the Y. Thats when you and I actually got a chance to flirt. It was like a dream come true to actually get attention from some one you had a crush on since you were 12. I felt like Violet from "The Incredibles" When Tony Ranger gives Violet some attention at the end of the movie... Did I blossom? Or did you always have a crush on me too? You have never answered that question. But I always ask. Now were going on 20 and still the playful banter. Still the crush. But now there are some more adult factors that come into play. The fact that we finally hooked up and are planning on making some BIG moves... Thats jus scaring me to death because it still doesn't seem real. You're tall, handsome, street smart, and I feel safe around you. Oh and dam we can talk about anything. ANYTHING. Honesty is key. Don't hold nothing back. Just give it all and put it on the table. My only fear is hurting you. So as we take this to a higher level.... Im gonna wear my seat belt.

You. I knew you since my junior year of highschool. We didn't start hangin out til my senior year. We started off as friends going to get ice cream. Then one day I had to ask my self was this a dream? Then after meeting your parents and you met mines, we were OFFICIAL... We would go to Ihop so much it became our spot. Oh and don't forget pizza shuttle. Those were the days. Then the sneaking aroung began. Well It wasn't sneaking really. You would just pick me up when you had to run an errand for your mom and then take too long getting home. Oh man and prom was THE BEST!!! You made me feel so beautiful and so lucky. Never felt that special in my life. The only thing I can say is that stress and new begginings pulled us apart. Even though my last day was spent in your kitchen cooking my special recipie of GUMBO with your mom. That was a good day. Im so glad that we can still party too. Man we have had some wild nights!!!! So next time I make a good pot of gumbo you are first on the list. Mouth watering already!

Memories old yes but sufficing yes. The most important memories of love can only truly be recited from the heart. Raw. Now there is one I can't talk about yet because, I'm not sure if its really over yet. So if you are offended by that then .... Well shit I really don't care because the day I actually sit and reminice on the good days will be the day I blog about it. lol Sorry hun...