Insecure

Who is going to stand? Who is going to stand up for what you believe in? Who is going to throw in the towel? This world is full of people who run away from the stress. People who avoid the struggle of life so they cower away from things that in the end will make them a better person. A better lover a better mate a better friend a better worker. I think that people who take the easy way out will sooner or later find themselves in a ditch of loneliness. You don't want to work to make us stronger therefor you will remain weak. In ever aspect of life, there will be a time of stress. There will be a time for struggle. The question is, are you ready for it? Making excuses for things in my eyes are unacceptable. Depending on the circumstances. We all have excuses and sometimes they are valid but to break up with some one because u don't want to go through the transitions of love, why get in the relationship in the first place. If any relationship is built to last you have to learn how that person you are in the relationship is. Some people say they break up because of jealousy. When i hear that i think well what did that person do to make their mate so insecure? And being insecure about your mate is something you have to work through. It can't be cured in a week or two but it also cant be cured if you wont talk to that person. No matter how little the incident insecure is insecure. Like a car accident with out your seat belt you're un-secure. But doesn't every one have insecurities?
I have insecurities. I am insecure about being so thin. People think I work out or what ever to be so thin. Nope this is just me. When i see my self in videos or pictures, i see my self as awkward. Like the goofy little kid i always was and probably always will be. And sometimes I get insecure about my looks. Now everyone calls me cute and adorable and fine. But sometimes I think that I'm not. Even when people say I'm beautiful, i never really feel it. The only time I can say I truly felt beautiful is prom. I walked to open the door for my date and he was blown away and told me how beautiful I was. I can't even recall my dad saying I was beautiful, hopefully on my wedding day ( if there is one) that will be the day. Maybe my insecurities about my looks could be why I have so many male friends or why I flirt at work with co-workers. I think that having male friends makes me feel wanted because I know that deep down inside they probably want me. Admitting this to my self, I can see where i screwed up with my boyfriend. Because, really he never really made me feel beautiful, cute and sexy maybe but beautiful. I can't really recall. That's probably why I kept messaging with that guy on facebook 3 days after we met because he kept calling me beautiful. Flattery is a bitch huh? I never thought about these things until now. Maybe I need to figure out how to fix this complex before it ruins my relationship with my man.